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Showing posts from September, 2017

Dear Penthouse: I Never Thought This Would Happen to Me but today.....

Wednesday, September 13 Uber and I are not talking today. It sent me on a 20-mile incorrect navigation which while it took me past some amazing, double-digit million-dollar homes, it burnt fuel and wasted time. But as a dedicated driver, I called the pickup, explained the problem and told her I would be there,just 20 minutes late. She was fine. The correct address was in equally spectacular homes in Desert Mountain, a sprawling conclave of five golf courses, captains of industry, widget multi-millionaires and also my friend Mike Silverman. The guard at the gate was waiting for me and upon entering, it was another five miles to the house. She said she would be outside in the driveway. I pulled up to this sprawling desert-friendly estate. There in the driveway she stood. Her name was Margarite. Blond locks as radiant as the sun. A smile that screamed "How nice to see you" and lit up the drab desert brush. Stylish jeans hugged to her svelte frame, a top-end handbag in on

Driving and Pause to Reflect

Tuesday, September 12, 2017 The purpose of this blog was to share some stories from the road, kind of like a Jewish Jack Kerouac . Part of the purpose was to also offer my own introspection on my opinions, thoughts, fears, joys et al. And I have not held back on expressing them, though I have kept political posts to a minimum. Uber guests come in all shapes, sizes, faiths, cultures and political leanings, so if I only picked up Never Trumps or Never Hillarys, it'd be a pretty lonely trek. The pause came today when I had just dropped off someone and I came to a stop light where a young, obviously high school student was texting. I had seen the slight swerve before-hand so I exercised caution. It got me thinking, which is usually a scary thing for me. You never know what will enter my mind, stay there or leave. I thought about the probably 17-year-old, which then took me to think about Erica, who was killed in a car accident on the streets of Scottsdale a little over 16 ye

Shifting Gears on Uber

Today is September 11. Let us recognize those who lost their lives and those brave first responders who answered the call of duty. And thoughts with those who braved Hurricane Irma. Shifting Gears on Uber Sometimes, the math just doesn't work. As an Uber Select Driver, sometimes Uber X (AKA regular Uber) doesn't always cut it. So I will be there for the elite. No, not the elitists though they do have many interesting stories as well. Let's look at the math. 3 hours of driving. UberX pays .73/mile. Uber Select pays $1.43.mile. To quote Jon Lovitz in "A League of Their Own," that would be more now, wouldn't it? Up here in North Scottsdale, people have more and pay more, but there's always someone who likes to get a steak for $1.99 But the real challenge is more miles, less pay and if you figure 500 miles/week, that's 25K miles a year on a brand new Genesis. The car gets old pretty damn fast. Now, if you do 3 Uber Select trips/day, that&#

A Dreamer, A Teacher, A Trucker, An Artist

September 5, 2017, 6:45AM Pick up nearby. Two retired teachers headed for Idaho for the first time. Originally from Southern California, they were invited to join friends in Coeur d'Alene. I sized them up! <g>. Teachers, union members, most likely Democrats. I asked about their friend. Former Educator and former law enforcement officer. Hmm. Coeur d'Alene. The town has a history, first for its ties to White Supremacists and the KKK,but people say it's changed over the years. I have first hand knowledge. When I was a SVP at Prodigy, we were purchased by tech tycoon Greg Carr,  along with the richest man in the world, Carlos Slim Helu of Mexico. Greg Carr is a smart man and a peaceful man. After the Aryan Nation was sued and forced to give up its compound in nearby Hayden Lake, Greg Carr did something big.He bought the compound, gifted it to a college and turned it into a peace park .  So I got to educate the teachers who happened to have taught social studies who

Rock 'N Roll: An Uber Perspective

Yes. Roll, not ride as in wheelchairs and mobility scooters. I was not working today and went to the airport to pick up my brother-in-law and sister-in-law. While I had to wait, I thought I'd hang at the Sky Train station, where Uber (and Lyft) drivers wait because they have clean, nice restrooms! I exited the Men's room and was faced with a guy in a wheelchair and he was an Uber driver. I smiled and he went into the lav-and I waited for him. I had questions. Carl is about 57 and retired from an aerospace manufacturer here, where he was a senior level exec. When he was 16, he fell off the back of a pickup and was paralyzed from the waist down. That didn't keep him from graduating near the top of his class and getting an engineering degree and raising a family. It did, however, keep him from surfing. I had stupid questions and went to look at his lift-enabled van. Basically, a tricked out SUV with special features for those who need it. We got into a talk. I have be

Hungover Parents

Time is money. Today was an odd day.What should have been a windfall wasn't but as I noted, I learn more each day,not just about people but Uber Shalom. Aloha. Howdy. . My first drive of the morning was at 5:58AM about 2 miles from here in another exclusive gated community. Notice I said 'another' to underscore the distinction that I too live in an exclusive gated community. Thanks Hope! I had ordered Starbucks and was 2 minutes from picking it up when I got the call--or alert. I'm thinking: airport! This early? Well, a high school student on her way to her boyfriend who was going to take her to school.Her dad was out of town. Her mom was, she didn't say where she was. Very chatty. Was deciding what to do for a career. An anesthesiologist or a career in the music industry. huh? It reminds me of a comedian whose son was growing up but was still a kid and said: 'dad. I want to be a lawyer--or a dinosaur.' Tough career choices. I told her 'stick with

It's a Small World, After All

As the sun rose, I got a request for an Uber ride to the airport. I picked up a couple in their 50's, cordial and polite but knew it was early for them and they weren't up for the gift of gab. I respected that, gave them cold bottled water and an Ipad for the husband to watch Fox News live on Direct TV . The woman was more chatty and after being charming, she said: "you'd be a perfect guy for my sister!" I remarked: "I know. I'm already married to her." So much for taking my brother-in-law and sister-in-law to fly to New York. I made them sit in the back, listen to my jokes and got them out of my car as quickly as possible.After all, I'll see them when they return. I DO hope their tip is bigger next time. Exiting the airport at 7 am is not a big money maker. Virtually no flights come in that early so you hope when you depart the perimeter, something will pop up. And it did. A KPMG exec was just going down the street from hotel to office but it

Ich Bin Ein Uber Fahren

Ich bin ein uber fahren. No, not making a political statement, though I did take German in junior high school, much to the horror of my parents. No, it translates to "I am an Uber driver." That was made clear to me yesterday when I picked up a rail-thin workout instructor at a client and when I asked her the best way to her destination as the app is not always right, she put up the "one minute" index finger to me and said, into her fone, "One sec.. My 'driver' is asking me a question." Once she got up off the pavement and dusted herself off..just kidding. You put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig or in this case, a driver is a driver. Sure, we're people too, but often, people remind us of what we are when we meet them. I call ourselves the invisibles. We are the bus help, the barista, the train conductor, the grocery bagger or check out clerk, the DMV lady and yes...the Uber Driver. People see us in a certain light as they want to

Harvey Ain't no Rabbit

Before I tell today's story, let's send best thoughts to the people of Texas. We bitch and moan about the heat here in AZ or the cold in NY in December. They say if you put all your troubles in a sack along with everybody else, reached and pulled one out, you'd wish for your own. Storm Harvey is the focus of today. I drove a cowgirl from the far north reaches of Cave Creek to the airport, on her way to a horse show. As I dropped her off, I got an Uber text for a pickup, something they do if you are dropping someone off. If you are just cruising the airport, you have to go to a designated lot and wait your turn. I picked up a grandmother, her daughter and the granddaughter, on their way home from Mexico City via Hurricane Harvey. As soon as the grandmother (an active 80) opened her mouth, I said "where in NY?" She replied Five Towns but that was over 50 years ago.She'd been in AZ since 1974. I remarked: "oh..came out as a child? (that's always g

Shalom. Aloha. Howdy.

As I have noted, an Uber Driver is today's version of the hair stylist or bartender. He (or she) becomes that anonymous therapist to hear confessions, thoughts, fears, joys or ramblings. Because there is a good chance today's Uber driver is like you, a part timer or someone who has-or had-a career and can relate to you in most circumstances. On " Taxi ," Alex Reiger was the only TRUE cabbie. Bobby was an actor, Tony a boxer, Elaine is a single Mom working at an art gallery, Jim is an old hippie minister, Latka is a mechanic from 'somewhere' unpronounceable and Louie..well..Louie defies description. Uber drivers are not Alex. Off to Kuwait. Hate is learned, it's not passed down through genetics. Put a 3-year-old Palestinian child with a 3-year-old Israeli child and since they don't KNOW they are supposed to hate each other, they get along. In the book, " From Beirut to Jerusalem ", author Thomas Friedman quotes either Golda Meir or Pr

Nazis Don't Tip

An Uber Yom Kippur: Seems odd to be talking about Nazis and White Supremacists AND the holiest day in the Jewish faith in one post. For those not of the faith, today is NOT Yom Kippur. It has two meanings for me: a day of not working and reflecting and the other, atoning. I decided NOT to work today as the City of Phoenix welcomes President Trump. He is not the reason for taking the day off. It's what may be in store for this city-and country-that has me taking pause. I know what some of my R friends are saying: Damn, Kluger! We loved your blog UNTIL today when you made it political. To them I say: I made it political the first day, with my views on people, society etc. Well, I'm not alone in my concerns as an Uber driver today. The ride-share company issued their own statement a few days ago on where they stand on Charlottesville.  There's a big difference between protesting and a gang-mentality. We've seen that in the past two weeks. Violence is not to be tol

Helicopter Parents are Likely to Crash!

Sunday, August 20, 2017--Took the weekend off from Ubering---- or did I? Hmm.Throwing off fellow Uber drivers who read this: Is Kluger out there..or not? Need I be afraid? Yes-Be Very Afraid (Jeff Goldbum in "The Fly.") Let's back track to Friday, an unusual day. Got my first LOW rating on Uber. Seems though I told Uber I did not want to do Meal pickups, they never changed the setting and when a text popped up, I accepted, then realized what it was and cancelled. So some guy did not get his Firehouse Sub from me and gave me a .4 out of 5.0. Uber needs to have an arbitration forum. Maybe in time once they figure out their management structure and press issues. As a courtesy, names are changed when I write about guests. I've beefed up the Genesis. In addition to the NY Times and cold bottled water in the back seat, I've added charging cords for Androids and yes..Blackberry. I also added Guns 'N Roses , Kesha and Michael Buble' to my Pandora. You never k

Off the Grid

Feast or Famine: I'm Still Enjoying the Meal So, we all hear about how great Uber is and how for a few hours of work, you can earn a stress free income. What about when it falls short of expectations? It happens. This morning at 6AM, I got a text for a pickup, 11 minutes away, 5 miles north of me and no doubt an airport trip. Within 10 seconds, it was cancelled, in favor of a driver 6 minutes away. That's one of the things about Uber; being in the right place at the right time. Nearly 45 minutes later, I got a text for a ride in an upscale gated community. You don't know where you're going until you do your pickup and I got a polite 'kid,' on his way to prep school, just 4 miles away. I was struck by his politeness and chatty nature. Seems his folks did something right. I asked him: " so..are your teachers or other kids talking about Trump?" He replied: "OMG. Yes, he actually SAID "OMG!" In the brief ride, he said his instructors op

Ride Captain (of Industry), Ride!

Today is officially two weeks into my career change.  A very diverse day. We started with the CEO of a major tech company here who talked to me about how he grew his company. Actually, he talked at me..at anyone, who was willing to listen. What followed was pretty uneventful but interesting just the same. Small talk and talks of substance.Next was a front office Marriott worker on her way to work. She chose to look at her phone rather than humor me.  Then there was the transplant from Atlanta who accepted her fiance's proposal and move to Scottsdale. She was on her way to the health club as the wedding was 6 weeks away. Swinging back around, I drove past the Westin Kierland and got paged by a young executive from Cyprus on his way to Amex. I asked him what side of the island he was from.He said most people don't know there is a Greek side and a Turkish side. Doesn't he know I used to work for MTV! Next up, Keith from Chicago who spends 40 weeks a year on the road a

Skip the Cover: Look Inside the Book

Another day,another sheckel. I thought I'd reveal some basic facts about Uber before I tell you about today. So, if on an average day, I work 2.5 hours (I just started-still a newbie) and it's been averaging $75-80 for that time frame. Of course, it's at different times so realistically,do it for six hours a day/5 days a week, no night time drunk runs or weekends (Unless Hope is working and I want to go cruising), and it's about $900/wk, give or take, or..(pause)...almost $50K. There are variables and you can make that in 1 hour with two airport runs and the rest is gravy. Uber vs Lyft: Here in Scottsdale/Tempe, Lyft seems to be the favorite of those under 30 and Uber for those above and older, residents, golfers and hotel  visitors alike, plus all the other characters who use the services. Uber patrons tip better than Lyft. Maybe it's the age thing. I tend to NOT want to take tips in cash because I'm a former MTV exec damnit, not a bellhop. Use the app!

Apologies to Harry Chapin

With apologies to the late-and great-Harry Chapin It was raining hard in Scottsdale I needed one more trip to end the day The Uber driver app said The Golf Club at Troon I didn’t mind , it was on my way I passed the gate up to the driveway, Past the carts and the clubs and the tees A woman in her 50’s went and opened the door While I checked to calculate my fees I said, where you going to, you NoSco girl It’s a shame you ruined your Laboutins in the rain She just stared at me in the mirror And said 46 Stardust lane Something about her was familiar I could swear I'd seen that lift before But she said, "Just focus on the road, pal" And she didn't say anything more It took a while, but she looked in the mirror And she glanced logo on my car A smile seemed to come to her slowly She said: ‘Hyundai’s really come so far’ She said: What does this car go for? I said it’s really rude to ask She said “you’re my driver, I’m your client” I said kindly’

Bartenders of the Millenium

Catherine flew in from Las Vegas that morning for an appointment at Mayo Clinic. Earlier in the month, she had a 4"x6" mass removed, as a follow up to a double mastectomy in January. She told me "attitude is everything." You've got that right. The stories one hears as an Uber driver displays a quilt of all of America. Frustration, joy, sadness, resignation, acceptance, denial. There are many more subsets to describe who gets in your car. Uber Drivers have become the bartenders and hair stylists of the new century. Venting or revealing to strangers provides a 'safe zone,' There is no judgement, at least on my part, and none coming from the back seat as I share my trials and tribulations. Chad called for a lift from Souther Scottsdale (or SoSco, as we call it) up to a job in NoSco. I had CNN on and offered to change it to music. He asked me to keep it on and I innocently said to this 28-something, "well, this will be your generation's Bay of

Day One: From Rock to Ride!

August 8, 2017--For 42 years, despite a much-storied career in corporate communications, I have always been "the MTV guy," a moniker I wear with pride. Kind of the like the punchline: 'You screw one sheep...." Last week, as I turned 64, recovering from a hernia surgery, I looked at where I had journeyed and asked: 'Where will I go next?" As Chico Escuela said: "PR been bery bery good to me." It enabled me to travel the world, travel America, meet interesting people, hear some pretty good music, hobnobbed on Capitol Hill and as Ol' Blue Eyes said, met with...puppets, paupers, pirates, poets, pawns and kings." I've given my opinion on every subject, consoled some, infuriated others. That is who I am, or have become and it suits me just fine. I am now, officially, an Uber XL Select Driver. Yep, no kidding.I took the two things I love most: talking to people and driving. Except for trips out of the country, I have always chosen t